832 - missing the show
This may at first sight be a morbid and negative blog today. It's not. Quite the reverse in fact and driven by real events in my life this week, yet I would hope it's thought provoking for all the right reasons.
You perhaps know that in my role with Rocksector Records and Blaze Bayley Recording I manage two artists/bands - Blaze Bayley and Absolva. Both bands include my sons Christopher and Luke. 2026 has been such a busy year with Blaze Bayley there's has been relatively little time for Absolva so we took an early decision that whilst Absolva will not go on hiatus this year, the band will be on the backburner, and get ready for a big 2027, it's 15th anniversary.
Consequently, this week was Absolva's first gig of 2026 - a kind invitation from the good people of 0161 Metal Community in Manchester, for the band to be guest headliner on the evening of the Metal to the Masses semi-final, curated by Bloodstock Open Air festival, the mighty metal festival in the Midlands which Absolva (and Fury UK previously) have played several times.
On the day I didn't feel good and as the day unfolded I had one of the lesser known symptoms of Parkinson's disease - Hypotension. To kill off straight away some potential misunderstandings, my belief is that Hypotension in Parkinson's is not high blood pressure and it's nothing to do with Diabetes. The symptom, for me anyhow, manifests itself as low blood pressure, dizziness, racing heart rate/pulse and a dull ache in the sternum area, sometimes in the neck and shoulders too. Feeling 'off'. Often in the past I've been able to fend off the symptom by lying down flat in bed, drinking a couple of cups of coffee and eating a couple of bananas. It's kind of bizarre that a bowel movement also sometimes helps!- that's to do with the amount of work the heart is having to do to fulfil the body's overall needs. The coffee simply helps raise blood pressure and the bananas provide potassium which is very important to help the electrical pulses of the heart. On the first few occasions I got Hypotension it was scary, especially as the symptoms are not dis-similar to a heart attack (which I have experienced before) but also because if un-checked there's every chance the situation could lead to cardiac arrest. Low blood pressure obviously not good at all. Fortunately, I'm fairly confident now in dealing with these episodes.
On the day of Absolva's above-mentioned show I had mild symptoms, generally unwell and the sense that Hypotension was about to kick off at any moment. I decided not to go to the gig. Bitter decision which I regretted almost immediately the Uber cab drove away with Lynne inside, very worried about me and very reluctantly flying the flag on my behalf - leaving me alone with my symptoms.
Now, I'm not going to say I made the wrong decision because let's face it there's not many people in this world that would want to see me lying on the floor of a music venue, drowning myself with coffee and munching bananas (haha I hope!) but it was an opportunity missed to see my guys playing their only headline metal show of 2026. I'm also not saying any of us should place ourselves in danger just to try what we've always done in the past - blast our way through problems/obstacles like a sledgehammer through a brick wall. Got to be realistic but...
In reflecting on the incident, missing the show, I'm mindful that time is short and I feel strongly I don't want to carry on missing things. So, why is this blog titled '832'? I'm 64 years of age now. Let's say I might die at aged 80. So that's 16 years away . 52 weeks (or weekends if you prefer). 16 x 52 = 832 weeks remaining. I'm thinking that's not so many! With or without Parky's illness let's make the most possible of what we have left. Whether it's getting to as many shows as possible, ambition to write blogs and books, travelling, making a record release in my own name (having helped others so many times to make theirs). Don't waste time. Make the most of all that's possible. No regrets. Even the big decisions - when I left the corporate gravy train / rat race for a career in music. What are our goals? How do we make the most of those 832 weeks?! Food for thought, feeling energised. Amen.